What is Love?
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
I spent my entire life believing I understood love, thinking I knew what it meant to be in love and to love someone. However, after many years, I realized I did not really know love. What I once believed to be love was not genuine. Even when I did experience love, it was so clouded with misconceptions that it became entangled with my flawed understanding.
It was not until I was saved and began a relationship with Jesus Christ that I truly began to see what love is. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 beautifully defines love, yet it seems that both the world and many Christians do not fully embrace this definition. As someone who has chased love for a long time, this concerns me for two reasons. First, having a relationship with Jesus should humble us and make us aware that we often fail to love rightly. If someone has not grasped this, I worry about their salvation—whether they have a genuine relationship with Jesus. Second, it saddens me to think that a person might never know or experience the true meaning of love, at least not in this life.
Why Have We Lost Belief in Real Love?
The love defined in 1 Corinthians can seem unrealistic because we rarely find this love in this world. I sought this love from my dad, family, friends, and the world, but it left me bankrupt. And this is why we do not give much significance to the 1 Corinthians definition, thinking it is a love only Jesus can achieve.
My relationship with Jesus has shown me that the love described in 1 Corinthians is tangible and possible. Jesus proved this love to me, and He tells me that if I surrender to Him and cultivate a deep relationship with Him, I can love as He loves. Jesus says that the love we show to one another is the evidence of our relationship with Him (John 13:35)
What makes it so challenging for us to love correctly?
Three things occur in the absence of God's love:
A fleshly love: Without God's love, we have an empty void that gives power to our nature/flesh, and our flesh wants to be loved. But the flesh doesn't care or understand that it needs God's love to love. The flesh's attempts to find and give love resemble a leech-like love.
The love that our flesh attempts to provide, to fill the void left by God, comes with selfishness, self-seeking, and self-serving, and it produces frustration, anger, and an enabling attempt at love. It is like to empty vacuums trying to suck something out of each other. A fleshly love is no love at all.
A false substitute: Without the love of God, we cannot know and understand love correctly. Since we don't understand true love, we redefine it to suit our lower expectations. We become satisfied with a substandard, something that is not truly love.
Have you ever heard of the concept of love languages? This concept often tries to redefine love, suggesting that different actions or behaviors can substitute for genuine love. For instance, if a spouse doesn't engage in deep conversations, you might be encouraged not to be upset because their love language is spending time together, like watching TV. However, those who have experienced a deep relationship with Christ understand that true love involves knowing someone intimately and profoundly.
Our Expression of Love: Without God, our understanding of love is limited, and the love we try to give to others becomes a poor substitute. We've all tried to love others, and if we're honest, we've failed more often than we've succeeded. How many of us have vowed to love our spouse all day, only to find ourselves losing patience within half an hour?
If there were a manual that guaranteed to teach you how to love someone perfectly, wouldn't you want to read it? If you truly love someone, your answer should be a resounding yes. We would all desire the ability to love our children perfectly, as it would also mean we are filled with perfect love.
It is through a deep relationship with God that we come to understand and know what real love is. Until then, you don't know what you're missing. To be loved by Jesus is to experience genuine love. To surrender to Christ is to embrace true love. This love is life itself.
Jesus offers an unmeasurable love, the love we all seek. And for those who have not experienced His love, you are missing out on the greatest love of all. I seek the Lord's love every day because I have tasted and seen that it is so good. Jesus' love has opened my eyes to the real thing, this life-giving love—that no one would live without.
