Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~ Philippians 4:6

More and more, I see people suffering from mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, and identity crises. It saddens me to witness individuals relying heavily on medication, spending significant sums on therapy, and living disengaged lives. While I understand that some truly need medication for genuine chemical imbalances, I worry about those who may not. It's heartbreaking because the problem—and its solution—are often clear if they're willing to acknowledge them.

I once heard a story at my church about a young boy who found a bear cub and brought it home. When he asked his parents if he could keep it, they agreed. The boy kept the cub in his room, feeding and caring for it. He grew deeply attached to the bear.

As time passed, the bear grew enormous and dangerous. The boy had to install a chain on the door, unlocking it only to feed the bear. Each time he did, the bear lashed out, clawing at him and leaving deep wounds. When his mother asked why he didn’t just get rid of the bear, he replied, “But I love him.”

I’m unsure where this story originated, but it offers a powerful lesson about the problems we often nurture, which lead to mental and emotional struggles.

Like the bear, we all have a monster inside us. The Bible calls it our fleshly nature. To learn more about this concept, you can read the section titled "The Monster Inside of Us."

This monster seeks independence, wants to carve its own path, and build its own kingdom. It sees God as a threat to its autonomy. It’s selfish, narcissistic, and only thinks of itself.

The monster is an egomaniac, demanding constant attention. Its motto is “I want”—it craves love, comfort, meaning, happiness, and pleasure. It’s opinionated, childish, unforgiving, and it feeds and protects itself at any cost. It wants everything, no matter the consequences.

Many people learn how to keep their monsters at bay by constantly feeding its desires or trying to ignore it. These people live a shallow existence, caught between fleeting highs and deep lows.

But for many of us, controlling and appeasing the demands of the inner monster becomes overwhelming. This struggle can manifest as mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and identity crises. In our attempts to heal, tame, and soothe the monster, we become consumed. Yet, the beast remains restless, never at peace, exhausting us into despair.

When his mother asked why he did not just get rid of the bear, he replied, "But I love him."

God asks us the same question: why don’t we let go of our inner monster? And our response is often the same: “But I love him.” We've grown so attached to ourselves—even when it's destroying us—that we hesitate to let go.

Is it wrong to love ourselves?

In this way, it is. Firstly, it's not genuine love; it's enabling.

Second, our ability to love is distorted by the monster inside us. Its selfish nature hinders us from loving others properly because it’s too busy seeking its own desires.

God teaches us how to love by loving us first. He reveals our true selves and shows us what real love looks like. Unlike us, God doesn’t need anything, which makes Him the perfect foundation for our lives.

Trying to love ourselves apart from God is the root of our problems. This has been the case since the beginning of humanity, from Adam and Eve until now. Allowing the monster to control us separates us from God, who is the only one who can heal our depression, anxiety, and identity crises.

When we try to love ourselves without God, we either become arrogant or overly self-critical. We place ourselves on a pedestal or harshly judge ourselves for not measuring up. It’s a painful way to live.

We can truly love ourselves only when we see ourselves through God’s eyes. He loves us despite our messes.

I remember my father being critical of everything I did. If he asked me to paint the house, he would point out every tiny mistake, even when I tried my best. If that were God, He would have seen the intent of my heart rather than focusing on my errors.

Human love is tangled in our frailties, hurts, and judgments, which is why it can’t sustain us. God’s love is different.

Building a relationship with Him frees you from the inner monster that leads to depression, anxiety, and identity crises, allowing you to live with true love and peace.

Who you are, what you were created for, and how you are meant to live can only be discovered in God. When you find this, you’ll be standing on solid ground. Without it, you’ll remain on sinking sand, vulnerable to the mental and emotional struggles that plague so many today.