"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

– Psalm 139:23-24

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Do I Need To Believe In God?

Some suggest that humanity invented the idea of God to cope with life's pain, meaninglessness, suffering, and inevitable death. They argue that fear of the unknown and a desire for control led people to create a god as a source of comfort in hopelessness—though this God, they say, is merely a human construct.

It’s true that some people believe in God for the wrong reasons—simply as a way to cope. But their misguided belief doesn’t negate God’s existence. Just as someone who identifies with their car doesn’t diminish the fact that a car is a useful mode of transportation, flawed reasons for belief don’t invalidate the reality of God.

Yes, some believe in God merely because it makes them feel better. They often view God as a kind of Santa Claus figure—someone who exists to serve their needs and fulfill their desires. You’ve probably heard these so-called Christians talk about "God’s favor."

I admit, I too sought God because I struggled to find purpose, meaning, and fulfillment in this world. After exhausting everything it had to offer, I fell to my knees and asked God—if He truly existed—to come into my life. That night, I told Him I no longer wanted to live without Him.

Part of me longed for a God who would fix my problems, make me happy, and solve all my questions. But another part of me simply wanted to know if God was real, even if He didn’t do any of that. I was drained by the emptiness of my life and began to believe there had to be something greater.

To my surprise, God answered my prayer. At first, I didn’t recognize it—it took time to realize that I had encountered Jesus in a spiritual way. I was transformed, filled with a new love and a deep desire to live for God. As our relationship grew, Jesus became real to me. He revealed who He is, how He loves, and who I truly am. I came to see the treasure that Jesus is and the sinner I was—the one who helped crucify Him. I was humbled and realized I didn’t deserve His presence in my life.

Where was the Santa Claus God I had expected? The one who would soothe my pain? The God I met didn’t come to comfort or coddle me—He wrecked me. He exposed my darkest flaws and demanded everything. Standing in the light of His perfection, I saw how His holiness revealed the cancerous sin within me. I became painfully aware of the inherent evil and monstrous nature inside me. I was broken, exposed, and shown for the blind, lost beggar I truly was. This was not the God I’d been promised by so many so-called Christians.

I came to realize that encountering this truth meant I had truly met Jesus, just as the Bible describes Him. This was not the Jesus I had imagined, but the one I never would have created for myself. I had come face-to-face with the truth, and that truth was setting me free. Now that Jesus had revealed the depths of my brokenness—and still loved me enough to save me—I finally experienced true salvation.

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