As a Christian, I often voiced the familiar longing to feel Jesus’ presence as tangibly as the ground beneath my feet. But were my words truly honest? I began to wonder—would I really want Jesus around me all the time, witnessing my failures, my stumbles into sin, and the moments when my flesh got the best of me?

If I’m being honest, at one point, my answer would have been, sadly, “not all the time.” When I first became a Christian, I would have insisted otherwise, but my life told a different story. It felt wonderful when I was on fire for Him, but when I began to lose sight of Him, something changed. I was trying to keep one foot in the world and one in God’s kingdom, and that’s when the struggle began. The idea of Jesus being with me 24/7 wasn’t always comforting—it was overwhelming.

I felt the pressure not to fail, not to stumble, not to let my flesh take control. It was like bringing Mother Teresa to a party—an ever-present reminder of how I should be living. Life started to feel like a constant test, and I hate tests—they stress me out. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, failing God’s test.

But one day, it hit me: I want Jesus with me everywhere I go, in every moment. I want Him in my good days and my bad. I want Him when I sin—not in the act of sin, but in His discipline and forgiveness—when I fail, when I stumble, and when my flesh gets the best of me. I want His loving gaze upon me at all times, no matter what I’m doing. I want Him in my moments of vulnerability, in my darkest times, and even on the days when I feel like I’ve fallen to the depths of hell.

Jesus is the only one who looks at me with pure love, truth, and compassion. He is the one who can rebuke, encourage, and guide me with perfect love. He is the one who holds me when I’m sinking, catches me when I’m falling, and finds me when I’ve lost my way. I can honestly say now that I want Jesus with me 24/7. I want to see Him in every part of my life—no exceptions. I don’t want a single thought, breath, or step without Him by my side.

Thank God that even when we try to leave Him behind, He is always with us—unshaken and faithful.